(The other day I promised to do a little series on applying Go-Giver principles to real estate - while this blog wasn't written with that in mind, I realize that it DOES indeed reflect a Go-Giver philosophy! So, let's consider this the first in that series, k?)
I was just talking to an agent who is going through a corporate-sponsored FSBO training program.
Sigh.
It’s typical stuff. Under the guise of being helpful, the program advises you to scare the guy to death about everything he doesn’t know about selling a house. Bring in a stack of complicated contracts and disclosures, “just so that he’ll be prepared if an offer comes in.” Include intimidating documents that he won’t actually need at contract (like a deed of trust and personal property bill of sale) just to beef up your pile. Provide a “helpful” info-sheet about the dangers of letting strangers into your home.
Again, your basic FSBO scare-tactics.
And again, sigh.
Hey, someone decides to FSBO their home because they think they can do it. They think they’re smart enough to do it and they don’t see the point in paying some smarty-pants real estate agent a whole bunch of dollars to stick a sign in the yard and do an open house. In most markets, they can pay a few hundred bucks to get on the MLS and borrow a For Sale sign, so they’re good to go.
And you know what? Maybe they are smart enough. But it doesn’t matter if they are or they aren’t; what matters is that they think they are. So, when you come in with your brow all furrowed with faux concern and your “helpful” material in hand, all you’re really doing is insulting the seller’s intelligence. You’re basically saying “You’re an idiot for trying to sell your house yourself! You can’t possibly succeed without me because I’m SO much smarter than you are.”
Oh, I know that’s not what you’re saying, but that’s what he’s hearing. And we wonder why FSBO’s can be hostile to us smarty-pants real estate agent types!
How about let’s be straight with the guy? If you think you can actually help this guy sell his house, then PROVE it to him. BE helpful without strings attached. Authentically CARE about his situation instead of mastering that look of faux concern. Be genuinely willing to walk him through contracts and answer his questions. Provide informative market reports to help him price properly.
Contrary to popular belief, demonstrating your expertise by sharing your knowledge won’t eliminate the seller’s need for you. I hope not, anyway; shoot, if it’s so easy to sell and close a house that we can explain it in an hour or two, that seller truly DOESN’T need us!
No, being cheerfully and genuinely helpful, caring and GIVING is gonna go a whole lot further with a suspicious FSBO than all the scare tactics in the world!

Jennifer, I like the way you think. Nice post.
Great stuff, Jennifer.
Why do FSBO sellers try to avoid agents?
Here's a recent AR post and thread dripping with attitude. Hmmmmm....
i LIKE YOUR APPROACH. i HAVE BEEN IN FSBOS, AFTER MR SMARTY PANTS AGENT AND IT IS NO FUN
Interesting thought process....truly be helpful and non condescending and see if that works....something to think about :o).
I get leads because people consider me a resource from reading my blog - not because I am dangling a listing carrot in front of their faces (which how most get leads!) I enjoy educating the consumer to become a client. I do not turn and burn business and sell a ton because of this philosophy but I do believe in clients for life!
What Renee Burrows said..... Thumbs up!
So true!!! FSBO are looking to save money and they have yet to see the value in hiring an agent and sellers are not stupid, there are vast resources out there today and they can find it, so be real and just see what happens.
Absolutely right on target! Hey, some people have excellent FSBO experiences - the stars all align in their favor and you don't want to be the one THEY are laughing at after it's all said and done. "Take that, smart aleck agent!" LOL Being genuinely helpful is the only way to go, imho. Well done!
Susan - Yep - being respectful and non-insulting is probably always a good plan to avoid the possibility of being laughed at in the future!
Christine - Exactly. Very well said.
Mike & Renee - Yes!!! Ditto and Thumbs up!
Brenda - non-condescending - what a concept?!
Charlie - Tell me more!!! Are they more hostile to you, you notice?
Deborah - Thank you!
You very rarely when an argument by telling someone they are wrong. Sometimes you can lay the ground work so they will discover it own thier own, then you leave them thier dignity.
Scare tactics are never a good way to go... Knowledge, info, sharing and presenting yourself as the expert.... That is the right way!
they may be smart enough to go the FSBO route but that still doesn't make them the experts, the professionals and when it comes right down to it, many of them get overwhelmed during escrow. We emphasize the escrow process during our listing presentation to FSBO's and that almost always turns them over to us.
If you thougth FSBO prospecting was tough 3 years ago, I can't imagine it now. I consider a FSBO sign instant poison for your home in this rough and tough pricing market.
One of the reasons I don't go after FSBO's is because they usually have been under assault by aggressive agents. I have found most of them though tend to fall under the "arrogant jerk" category of seller. Their attitude was that we make too much money to begin with and their feeling that we have nothing better to do but hunt them down only worsens because a hundred hungry agents call them every day. In some ways I think they sometimes kind of deserve each other. Sort of poetic sense of justice! It must be frustrating when the first put up their sign and hear the phone ringing off the hook that all of those calls are from agents - not buyers.
FSBO's always think there is a trick up your sleeve when you try to help them out. Years ago, I had special packets made up for them, and I was turned away, as they thought it was a ploy to get their listing. Well, in a sense in was to a certain extent. I guess you could call it a form of bait and switch. I call it planting another seed. To be successful, we have to have numerous tools in our belt to build our business from the foundation up, and this is one of many.
I think attitude is everything! If an agent goes in there with the attitude of subtly scaring, it's always a negative undertone. But a meeting with a FSBO doesn't always have to be that way.
I agree with Ruthmarie, it must drive them bonkers when they put the sign up and they get fifty calls and it's all agents wanting to list their house. I don't think I want to follow that. I wait for them to call me. They don't ...but!!
For Sale By Owners, is often known as the Advertising for Brokers. It is tough when they try to sell on their own, they recieve calls from agents. But if we are not calling, we are not doing our job.
Eileen - I don't have a problem contacting FSBO's if it's done with the heart of truly wanting to help them - which we CAN. But to walk in with the attitude of "I'm smarter than you are" isn't gonna warm anyone's toes and just gives our industry a bad(der) name.
David & RuthMarie - You are SO right! I bet it is pretty discouraging to come home to lots of messages you think are from excited buyers... and find it's just a bunch of hungry real estate agents.
Loreena - that's the thing. It doesn't have to be that way! FSBO's are people, too, and if approached respectfully and genuinely, will most often respond in kind. But when you come at someone aggressively, they'll also respond in kind! I mean, DUH!
Don - Thanks for the reblog! I imagine the reason FSBO's think we have a trick up our sleeves is because... we almost always DO!
Chris and Maria - I think it's all about timing and attitude. Implying that someone isn't capable of doing something they've obviously decided to do is simply rude, in my opinion. If, let's say, I decided to run a marathon and I've never run a marathon before, and some "expert" marathon-runner told me I wasn't capable of finishing, don't you think I'd be pretty irritated with him?
Robert - Of course we agree!
Gene - EXACTLY! Preserving the other guy's dignity is always a good approach.
Great post, Jennifer. Scare tactic is one way to get business from FSBO and a good way to start off your relationship in a bad way. What you wrote is so simply easy but yet hard for some to act.
I think it's all in the approach of making them know how much they don't know. Usually the FSBO is the "smarty pants". So a "smarty pants" approach to a "smarty pants" prospect probably isn't going to work well. But a "smarty pants", even though they want to put on the personae that they know it all, deep down is afraid they are missing a few key pieces of information. So if you some how make them realize that you just might have the missing pieces to the puzzle, they just might forgetaboutit and hand over the job to you. But I think that you must somehow convince them that you might know just a little bit more than they know. How you go about that is the key.
While doing it yourself can work for some people (there's always some urban legend-ish friend of a friend who did great doing it), there are some things FSBO sellers just don't get:
1) we're in a tough market where putting up a for-sale sign on a nice house just won't do it. Marketing power and savvy are crucial.
2) as soon as they see FSBO, buyers deduct what the commission would have been from their offer.
3) it's a lot easier to get an offer than to get that offer through to the closing table.
Lovely application of the Go-Giver principals!!
Your last point says it all. Be helpful, tell them things they couldn't possible know without experience, and they'll begin to appreciate the value agents offer.
I can't tell you how many FSBO listings I got after I spent time with them helping them sell their home themselves... Most of my clients were incredibly intelligent and knew the market. What they didn't have was time. In the end...when their house didn't sell...they knew that they could trust me in that I helped them out in the first place.
Good words of wisdom...
Jennifer,
Once again when I read your blogs and your wisdom it makes so much since. I am just know starting to work FSBO's and am a little bit nervous. After reading your blog I now know how to approach them. Thanks!
The perspective of creating value to the client rather than taking them down is always going to be more productive.
Hi Jennifer,
what a wonderful post. I hope agent who liek to "scare" FSBO sellers read it before contacting people - but they probably won't...
One needs time and resources to sell a house on his/her own. Lots of both. And patience - to deal with agents calling you, offering "help", and buyers wanting to stop by and see the property, asking questions etc. Knowledge of the market, and ability to detach emotionally from the house - enough to be realistic about it's market value, and for how much you can actually sell it (not EXPECT to sell).
and "real estate math" is different from "home owner math". Homeowner thinks: I paid X, took a mortgage and paid Z in interest, then spend Y on remodeling, and to top it off, it must have appreciated by ^, so the price is (X+Z+Y)x^, plus lil' something for the heck of it...
One thing though: I had a house on a list, to show my buyers. It recently expired. It's a FSBO now. Price is driven up through the roof, and when I checked several FSBO sites, I could hardly find any info about this house, or pictures. Not to mention a separate website for it. These are trivial things, easy to accomplish by anyone, but they were not done. How are they planning to sell the thing? Maybe eventually owner will do all of that, but some buyers might have already lost interest because of lack of info, plus, the older the listing...
Jennifer - great post and I never use scare tactics as it is not my style.
Hi Jennifer, like your take on the FSBO. When I was training, I was told to not be daunted by rejection from an FSBO. Always be respectful of the fact that he is trying to save money for a good reason and approach with kindness. You are supposed to be there to help. If he needs you he will be more than happy to have you. Always put yourself on the other side of the fence.
Ann - "Always be Respectful" and "Put yourself on the other side of the fence." Gee, how revolutionary! THANK YOU!
Sharon - I'm glad it's not your style!!
Anna - I agree that most FSBO's probably aren't qualified or experienced enough to sell their homes and they DO need us, for all the reasons you mention. But there are better ways to persuade them of that than insulting their intelligence...
Morgan - I agree!
John - There is NO reason to be nervous about FSBO's IF you are there because you truly want to help (as opposed to simply convincing them to sign your listing agreement).
Claire - I'm SO glad this philosophy has worked for you. Now it seems obvious, doesn't it?
Bryan - Exactly. Just because you tell them something doesn't mean you've given away all your value.
Heidi - I thought so!
Amy - I agree many don't get it, but there are more effective ways to gently point these things out than being disrespectful.
Tim - I really believe that most FSBO's respond negatively to agents because they aren't being approached respectfully. So, yes, the secret is in finding a way to demonstrate your expertise without being snotty about it.
Mike - Once you have a paradigm shift away from sleazy, tacky "tricks," it'll seem obvious that this is the right way to go about it.
Oh, Mike - I didn't mean to imply that YOU use sleazy, tacky tricks! I was using "you" impersonally!
Hi Jennifer, in my opinion, the wisdom you shared in your article is about the most perfect interpretation of The Go-Giver philosophy I've every read. Beautiful!!!!! And, on another note, I'm totally impressed with the wisdom shared by so many of those who commented. WOW! - Bob
Hi Jennifer,
Great post and the sensible approach, it is all about the Golden Rule, treat others the way you would like to be treated.......
We have programmed the general public that we are perceived to be and do all these nasty things (which most of us are and do not).
so certainly initially most people look at us as if we somehow will "by the use of our magic words or gizmo's) take all their money and free will. Getting to the know like and trust level, certainly with FSBO's is a big deal, no point trying to use a sledge hammer to try to convince the seller that you are the "nice" Realtor.
Happy Selling (FSBO's)
Jennifer - thanks for this article. I agree that scare tactics are not a good idea when dealing with FSBOs. Real help is what they need!
Some of them can't afford to have a broker...I just offer my services as a transaction broker for a flat fee (or a multitude of other listing options I offer)...this helps keep them a FSBO and, if & when, they find a buyer they usually call me to get it closed for them...as a contractor, I was a FSBO for a lot of years before I got my license, so I completely understand it...I sold about 50% myself and the other half I co-broked for 2.5% with a buyer broker....I always put 'brokers welcome' in my ads.
Great thoughts. I once DID list a FSBO and the reason is the seller said all the letters he got from other agents were almost condescending and insulting. He showed me one that a [major franchise] agent wrote where he said outright that most FSBOs don't sell, so just skip the beginning process and list with him. He told the seller the negative statistics about how many FAIL and then went on to say he was the best and smartest and BLAH BLAH BLAH.
The seller called me and said he liked my soft sell approach, and liked I didn't insult his intelligence.
Oh, Jennifer, i didn't mean do belittle anyone's intelligence in my comments. I just thought, that if someone is planning to sell on his/her own and happens to read your blog and our comments - these are the major pitfalls that need to be addressed, so I decided to sum it up here.
Jennifer, as a guy who lists FSBOs you are absolutely correct. Most agents who target them are grunts piling up numbers with little regard for relatedness or fostering a connection. FSBOs don't want an agent- nobody does- they want a buyer.
Anna - I didn't mean to imply that you were doing that! Sorry - I was really just agreeing with you. Sorry if it came across otherwise ;-]
J.P.F - Thanks so much for the real-world validation!
Erica - When I see all the awful scripts and dialogues and objection busters coming out of the real estate training industry, I really have to wonder WHO dreams this stuff up and actually believes it's effective. And I feel bad for agents who blindly trust them.
John - I think that's great!
Ellen - Thanks for the reblog!
Peter and Linda - I guess we can be grateful to all the non-golden-rule-playing real estate agents who make us look great by comparison, huh?
Bob (Burg) - Wow - THANKS for stopping by and for your kind words for me & *my* commenters! Doing our best to spread the word about Go-Giving - it's fantastic stuff...with the potential to change careers. I'm honored by your visit.
Wow is right...Bob Burg!! Excellent!! And excellent post. Why can these "real estate trainers" get with the Go-Giver program?? The Golden Rule...it's that simple.
Jennifer. There was a time when I used to ride around on weekends trying to bump into FSBOs. I found weekends were when they were working in their yards or having a garage sale. I'd just pull over and strike up a conversation. Of course we talked real estate. Then I would offer to send them an analysis for their property and be available if they had any questions while going through the process of selling their own property. I also offered to connect them with a mortgage broker to screen the potential buyers and a title company to handle the closing for them. NEVER did I actually ask for the business. But it would usually only take a few days before they called me asking me to list their property.
My experience was that they were FSOBs because they had had a bad experience with an agent before.
Hi Jennifer,
Wow, your post was truly interesting to me. I've always avoided FSBO's in the past because they are usually hard to deal with, want to offer 1% commission to a Buyer's Agent, think we don't do anything special, etc. Well, after I read your post, I felt myself re-evaluating the situation! Thank you!
- Temple Schneider-Callahan
Connect Real Estate Services
Ventura, CA
I'd love to hear more of your thoughts, Temple!
People work with people they think well of. Contacting a FSBO with a know-it-all attitude does not conform to that reality.
People work with people they think well of. Contacting a FSBO with a know-it-all attitude does not conform to that reality.
Jim - I'll elaborate on your comment to say that people work with people who think well of THEM - that is - people who respect their intelligence and don't insult it at every opportunity!
Hi Jennifer,
As always... you hit the nail on the head! We are all in this bad economy together and if someone is trying to save a little money, who are we to judge that decision! If you can put yourself out there by helping one another, that act of selflessness can be the start of a wonderful thing! Great post!
I'm not a real estate agent, I'm a presentation skills trainer and came here via Bob Burg's Go-Giver blog. I loved your article and your perspective. It seems to me it's a question of short-term vs. long-term vision. By scaring an FSBO into listing, an agent may gain one sale, but by genuinely helping, they gain a friend (and a fan!) for life. Who knows what business and referrals that may lead to?
Robin - Oh, my goodness... you GET it. I'm positive your clients and prospects feel blessed to have you as their agent!
Anonymous visitor - Thanks for visiting! I was very pleasantly surprised to see Mr. Burg blog about ME - how cool is that!? And yes, that's exactly correct.
Here's a link to Bob Burg's blog about THIS blog, BTW: http://www.thegogiver.com/blog/2010/09/02/963/
Jennifer: Thank you. Bob Burg recommended this and I totally agree with your line of thinking. Have a great day!
You are so right! I've tried the "you're an idiot and I'm so smart" routine because that's the way I was taught. Surprise surprise that it never worked! Congrats on being blogged about by the "go- giver"!
Hey Jennifer,
I've been getting your emails for some time now, and being new to AR I'm so glad I found you here as well. Great tips on how to be not only true to ourselves, but true and helpful to our clients and especially possible clients...meaning everyone.
Jennifer, this is just another illustration about how the old ideas don't work anymore. In fact, I'm rethinking our listing presentation. Today we met with a couple and instead of making them sit through who we were, who our company was, what great marketing we do, blah blah, Frank got right to what they really wanted to know - 'what's my house worth and what will it sell for?" After we discussed that, they relaxed and actually listened to the marketing and asked questions. We had a great dialogue and I think we have a good chance to get that listing. It made me realize that people might not really be listening to you as much when they're really waiting for the house's value. I'm thinking about getting that out of the way up front, then talking about the marketing and all the rest. What do you think?
F&S - In concept, I think it's a great idea to just get down to business and answer the question(s) THEY want answered. I approach it differently, though - I don't talk about pricing in my first meeting with a seller prospect - I consider that meeting to be purely for information-gathering and rapport-building purposes. I look at the house, take notes, ask a lot of questions about the seller's situation and understanding of the process, and then I schedule a follow-up visit in a day or so to discuss pricing.
But I stopped doing a formal presentation a few years back and found my listing appointments were much more effective.
Oh, also, I try to get the commission question out of the way as soon as possible. My seller prospects usually know what I charge before we even meet - it's on my website and I direct them there if they ask... in my experience, THAT's the other burning question they want to know the answer to!
Your "sigh..." after the words "Corporate sponsored FSBO training program" is priceless... I had a mortgage broker a few months back give me this EXTREMELY VALUABLE FSBO System Booklet, and promised that if I follow it to the letter I'll have 12 listings in 3 months. I think he was trying to get my business, but I could barely get through the first few pages without totally gagging. Frankly, I won't be referring him to anyone because of this. It basically described the "Tactics" you are referring to and it just feels so wrong. Buffini be darned, I would rather build a genuine rapport with a client and help them as much as possible rather than resorting to scripts and scare tactics!!
Julie - anything that makes you gag is just WRONG! What is it about our industry that doesn't understand that simple concept? Good for you for trusting your gut.
Best article I have ever read about working with FSBOs. You NAILED it!
So glad you enjoyed it, Jason! I know I enjoyed writing it...
Jennifer, great blog. I've kinda been on the fence with FSBo's, and this blog just reminded me why! Probably the best route is just to be patient and when their home doesn't sell after a longer period of time, and then sweep in and offer help. Asking them questions at that point is probably less offensive, as they now know their way didn't work. No-one wants their nose shoved in it. Who wouldn't want help if offered in a kind, respectable manner?
I think I just answered my own question on to FSBO or not to FSBO. :)